cranky kitty

That's what I feel like today. Not entirely sure why or when it's going to end for that matter, but I have a few theories. 1. I haven't worked out in two days and likely have a lot of energy that needs burned off. I often jump into things head first with the reserve of a Jersey Shore meathead and the tenderness of a wrecking ball. Such is the case with Crossfit and countless other endeavors. This isn't always a bad thing, but I go so hard so fast in the beginning that I tend to burn out on many of these new adventures. To keep that from happening with the workout regimen, I am forcing myself to take days off. This is day two and I honestly don't know if I can go another day with no activity. My body is an amazing entity in that it often likes to act independently of my mind. My body is capable of pushing the boundaries of what it should be able to do... but not without consequences. If I push too hard for too long I end up sick, sore, and injured. It's happened countless times and I'm determined to try to keep it from happening again.

2. I was eating fairly clean in the beginning of the week and that has since gone to crap in the last two days. The problem with not working out is that I tend to lose my schedule and that typically means poor food choices for meals. I tried getting back on the train with a salad for lunch today after a doughnut for breakfast this morning. Now if I tell certain people that I'm trying to maintain a certain diet, they undoubtedly will say "well look at you, you don't need to be on a diet, you're a toothpick... etc. etc." What is still astounding in this day of knowledge at your fingertips, worldwide media, and advanced science is that people still fail to realize we are what we eat. When I eat shit... I feel like shit. When I eat healthy... I feel healthy. It's a very simple methodology. Yes I am trying to diet, but it's for my physical and emotional well being as well as for athletic performance... actually I prefer lifestyle to diet :)

3. I'm an asshole. There I said it. My very close friends already know this and they love me for it... everyone else... probably just hasn't been around me long enough. Don't get me wrong, I'm a real nice guy... but I have an unrelenting store of animosity towards the world that seemingly has no point of origin or termination. Most days now are just fine, but occasionally the portal to this angst ridden soul opens up and lets loose some negative energy. Sometimes it comes out as sarcasm, sometimes passive aggression, and sometimes I'm just a crank ass. So there you have it... reason three.

But as all things do, this too will come to an end and I'll be on the up and up again. These days I am generally a very happy person... especially compared to the early 20's version of me that would hate anything just to feel something. Of course this could just be the early stages of withdrawal... from a lazy lifestyle full of eating shit food and spewing out negative energy. In this case the symptoms make me want that previous lifestyle less and less... weakness is a choice... your very own. That choice is no longer for me.

Money and morality

Monsanto again makes the news this week with the release of Forbes Magazine declaring Monsanto the company of the year. The criteria for such an award obviously has no relevance to public or environmental responsibility, but must rather be based on the blind pursuit of money and power. I need to do some more research, but seeing how Monsanto controls most of the corn production and almost all the soybean and sugar production in the U.S., I fail to see how they are not yet a monopoly or very close to one. In the end it all boils down to money and morality, if you've got the money, you can buy someones morality...i.e. the federal govt. (not that they have much left). If you want to change a company, the best way to do it is to hit them in the pocketbook. For Monsanto that means a few things. First, write your local senators and representatives and plead for them to repeal the law that allows companies like Monsanto to copyright living organisms. This will give smaller farmers the ability to both stay in business and choose different seed options, which in turn will help develop new seed companies with better business practices. Second, demand wholesome food from the super market instead of the genetically processed foods we have become accustomed to eating. Monsanto makes a killing because nearly everything we Americans eat contains their corn, soy, or sugar product. So stick to the outside of the grocery store and demand more fresh produce and grass fed beef. If we demand it, someone will provide it, and that someone is likely to be a local farmer with more respect for his land and his product. Third, spread the word. Even though the press is out there, many people are entirely unaware of this hijacking of our food industry. Mainstream media doesn't pay too much attention to it and the government is not likely to listen to the very few telling them to change laws and practices. It's going to take a grass roots movement to change the way these companies do business so that we can eat healthier for less money and protect our environment as well as our fellow Americans. For ease of use I've included a video with a pretty lady in hopes that everyone will pay attention to what she's actually saying! For the article about the Forbes nomination click here Blind Health: Forbes Magazine Declares Monsanto Company of the Year

It's all in the hips

One thing I've learned these past two months is the amazing strength able to be produced from your hips. So many exercises use the hip as a kind of momentum started, or a powerhouse. No longer do I try to perform cleans using only my traps and shoulders but now it's almost entirely hips. They're amazing! The sad thing is that they never received much attention before doing these workouts except for an occasional pelvic thrust (followed by a time warp!) as is the case with many runners. We become very quad dominant and render ourselves incapable of producing much hip strength or flexibility. My hips apparently are so involved in my workouts that my left side is starting to hurt and thus needs a break... and a chiro appointment. So I think I will take the next 3 days off and rest up and go see the doc on Monday morning to see if he can adjust this pain out of me.

Today was another brutal workout, mostly because I'm so sore from earlier in the week. A 40cal row followed by 40 reps of pullups, lunges, wall balls, deadlifts, push press, situps, burpees, double unders, and ending with another 40 cal row. I do love these types of workouts as they are lengthy, work your whole body, and really test your stamina. My eating habits are still on the right track and almond butter is officially my new favorite food. AND on a side note I ate mushrooms last night and for the first time actually enjoyed them (outside of morels that is). We will also be going down to the farmers market on Saturday morning to check out some local vendors and hopefully bring home some goodies!

new year new me

I feel like a lot has changed in the last two months, and in several ways many things have. I started going to QC Crossfit in mid November and from the first day I've never looked back. I knew I'd love it, but at the time it was really just to get me in shape for me 30miler in March. Now, I don't know that I'll ever be able to leave! I felt like I had a head start when joining the gym since I had been reading and dabbling in crossfit for a year, not to mention being a certified personal trainer. But in the last two months at this gym I've learned more about fitness, nutrition, and my body than I have in probably the last 8 years! I feel more empowered, not just to change my life, but to help others get inspired to change theirs as well. This past month Shannan joined the gym with me and I couldn't be happier. I knew she'd like it after the initial dragging by the hair to get her in there. And I think I was right. Now we have something else to discuss at home and we have a solid partner to push each other both at the gym and at home. I'm as strong now as I've been since Olympic lifting in high school, and I've also managed to pack on about 8 pounds of muscle since joining!

Recently I've also become aware of the serious food crisis that's happening in our country. We as a nation have become lazy in that everything we need is now at our fingertips and we no longer have to think about the origins of the products we use... including food. The above trailer from the movie Food Inc. is probably one of the most important documentaries of the decade in my opinion. It's an in depth look at how as the quality of our food goes down so does the quality of our health, our environment, and our workforce. Please take time to watch this movie and then to contemplate if you want to continue eating the way you do, shopping the way you shop, and cooking the way you cook. I can almost guarantee this movie will affect you on some level.

As for me I'm making a choice to eat healthier and eat more locally. We in the Quad Cities have an amazing opportunity to buy from local producers of meat, eggs, fruits, veggies, and more by visiting the local farmers market in downtown Davenport. It's one of the best in the Midwest and it's right at our fingertips, so why not support local growers and your community, get some local wholesome food, and lessen your environmental impact while you're at it? I know this isn't for everybody, but if enough people get on board we can start taking a chunk of money out of the pockets of these billion dollar corporations who have hijacked the quality of our food and are impoverishing those people that they employ. Remember that we as consumers ultimately decide what direction businesses go in, and if we don't change our buying habits now, things are only going to get worse.

New York Trilogy

I just finished reading Paul Auster's "Ghosts", the second part of his New York Trilogy. I can only liken it to Vonegut, without the dark humor. Vonegut's world view is that of a black comedy, while Auster's seem more in line with a black hole. Ghosts is a short story about a detective hired to watch over another man for an undetermined amount of time. No clues are given as to why he should be watching this man, he must merely keep him under surveillance until further notified. He must write a weekly report and he receives a weekly check for his services. The days turn to weeks, and the weeks to months and still nothing happens. The man he is observing seems normal enough if not quite lonely. In the end, to me, the story ends up being a microcosm of our everyday lives consisting of mundane activities, trying to earn a paycheck, and in the end trying to figure out what the story is all about. Our lives, such as this short story, only means what we want it to. The only story line there is is the one we create, and the end... well we already know how it ends. Life is absurd, and there's really no way around it. It is what it is, shit happens, go with the flow... however you want to say it, life is absurd. You already know it... and the irony... none of seem to be able to stop looking for the meaning of it all. Absurd.

New Challenges

The possibility of stepping into a higher plane is quite real for
everyone. It requires no force or effort or sacrifice. It involves little
more than changing our ideas about what is normal.

-Deepak Chopra

I thought this quote was rather appropriate considering the ideas rattling around in my head as of late. I'm still trying to come up with a challenge for this year and in doing so I think I already found one for next year. There is a series of events in IL called the Grand Slam, which consists of 4 ultramarathons throughout the year. To qualify for the Grand slam standing you must finish each race in the allotted amount of time. These races will range from 30 miles to 50 miles and are all trail oriented. People most often ask 'why would you want to run that far' when first hearing about ultramarathons. I don't yet know the answer to that question... often the response is 'because it feels so damn good when you're done.' But for me it's about attempting to push my personal limits of what I can accomplish.

In ultra running it has been said that it's 90% mental and the other 10% is mental. It's about reconstructing your ideas about what is possible and what isn't. Just last night I was watching a movie called "Running the Sahara" in which 3 guys attempt to run the entire distance of the Sahara Desert. A distance of over 175 marathons, running every day with no rest days. They were averaging 40-50 miles per day in 140degree ground temperature heat. Almost everyone doubted their ability to do it, including the three runners at times. But the ultimate goal for them wasn't to run across a desert, it was to challenge the notion of what was humanly possible. It was to experience a level of suffering such that it would lead to a new outlook on life. It was more about surviving ones own doubt as opposed to surviving the brutal conditions around them.

So my goal for next year is the Grand Slam of Illinois trail running. But for me it's going to be about much more than running. It will be a will to power, a journey into suffering, and an exploration of previously unattainable goals and world views. I have found that great struggles give a greater appreciation for those precious people around us and a sense of connectivity to everything that surrounds us. And that is what I'm striving for.

Things to come...

The future often seems unsettling to me and I can't help but think that our current ways of life contribute almost wholly to that. What has spurred our excessive procreation, our need for mass produced items, and our unwillingness to compromise? Since when did we need bigger, better, more, faster? Our greed for more has led to an inevitable road where many will be lead toward a future of less rather than more. Less jobs, less food, less money, less possessions, less house, less car, less... To think this isn't a product of our own doing is to the point of ridiculous. We are a society that wants more for less, which leads to a number of problems. First off we buy cheaper products, products that don't last as long and end up in the trash, so that we have to buy more and use more resources. Second, we want to pay less, which means we have to pay workers less to produce these cheap items. We Americans don't want less... so we give up our jobs and factories to overseas countries that pay less. And even though we know these cheap products are costing our neighbors their jobs... we buy them... because we want, neigh, need them. Our economy, our health system, our food system, our water system, is all falling apart around us... but we don't care, not yet. We won't care until it affects us personally, and by us I mean the middle class, the majority, the heart and soul of the country that we love so much, but seem to be trying to destroy. And by the time we care... well you can see why the future is unsettling.