cranky kitty

That's what I feel like today. Not entirely sure why or when it's going to end for that matter, but I have a few theories. 1. I haven't worked out in two days and likely have a lot of energy that needs burned off. I often jump into things head first with the reserve of a Jersey Shore meathead and the tenderness of a wrecking ball. Such is the case with Crossfit and countless other endeavors. This isn't always a bad thing, but I go so hard so fast in the beginning that I tend to burn out on many of these new adventures. To keep that from happening with the workout regimen, I am forcing myself to take days off. This is day two and I honestly don't know if I can go another day with no activity. My body is an amazing entity in that it often likes to act independently of my mind. My body is capable of pushing the boundaries of what it should be able to do... but not without consequences. If I push too hard for too long I end up sick, sore, and injured. It's happened countless times and I'm determined to try to keep it from happening again.

2. I was eating fairly clean in the beginning of the week and that has since gone to crap in the last two days. The problem with not working out is that I tend to lose my schedule and that typically means poor food choices for meals. I tried getting back on the train with a salad for lunch today after a doughnut for breakfast this morning. Now if I tell certain people that I'm trying to maintain a certain diet, they undoubtedly will say "well look at you, you don't need to be on a diet, you're a toothpick... etc. etc." What is still astounding in this day of knowledge at your fingertips, worldwide media, and advanced science is that people still fail to realize we are what we eat. When I eat shit... I feel like shit. When I eat healthy... I feel healthy. It's a very simple methodology. Yes I am trying to diet, but it's for my physical and emotional well being as well as for athletic performance... actually I prefer lifestyle to diet :)

3. I'm an asshole. There I said it. My very close friends already know this and they love me for it... everyone else... probably just hasn't been around me long enough. Don't get me wrong, I'm a real nice guy... but I have an unrelenting store of animosity towards the world that seemingly has no point of origin or termination. Most days now are just fine, but occasionally the portal to this angst ridden soul opens up and lets loose some negative energy. Sometimes it comes out as sarcasm, sometimes passive aggression, and sometimes I'm just a crank ass. So there you have it... reason three.

But as all things do, this too will come to an end and I'll be on the up and up again. These days I am generally a very happy person... especially compared to the early 20's version of me that would hate anything just to feel something. Of course this could just be the early stages of withdrawal... from a lazy lifestyle full of eating shit food and spewing out negative energy. In this case the symptoms make me want that previous lifestyle less and less... weakness is a choice... your very own. That choice is no longer for me.